I came across this unfinished sketch last night while rummaging through a box looking for something else completely…and it made me think….
When I drew this over a year ago (I haven’t drawn anything since), I wasn’t particularly happy with it. Whilst I was drawing it I was so intensely focussed on it that all I could see were the parts that were unfinished or not quite there yet. Looking at it now, I take a different view. Dare I say it, I think it’s just lovely as it is.
I have a tendency to over analyse, over criticise everything I do. Work, home, hobbies, parenting, everything. While all those around me are telling me, “that’s amazing” I am telling myself “that’s not good enough”. I instinctively dismiss compliments from loved ones as ” just being kind” or coming from a place of bias. I’m harsher on myself than I would EVER be on anyone else. For the longest time, I felt this was an admirable trait. Always pushing myself to do better. But there’s a negative side to that too. If you can never allow yourself to be happy with what you’ve achieved, then when will you ever feel that sense of fulfilment and achievement that is surely the end goal of any pursuit?
I’m not saying I’ve found the answer, and I don’t think the answer is to stop pushing myself to do better. But maybe I….maybe you too…maybe we need to give ourselves a break now and then. Just allow ourselves to believe what others our telling us. That actually, what we do, whether that be sewing, sketching, work, parenting…whatever…is actually pretty ok. And we are allowed to feel a bit proud of what we do now and then…?